#i forgot to touch on the religious element. but imagine not being to go to heaven during a time where catholicism is a VERY prominent be all

[hearthandhomemagick]

The Cottage Witches Journey Journal 18+ Trigger Warning (discusses adult situations and mentions abuse, assault & suicidal thoughts)

I would like to start this journal entry with who I am. My name is Carly, and my spiritual practice is focused on my Hearth and Home. I am writing this to kind of freely express myself, my experiences, and even speculations I may have. Feel free to follow me through this journey, or even offer conversation if you have a thought. I’m open for human connection and communication!

So, I’d say my journey started at a very young age. I grew up along side a river in Florida, where my family has owned land next to the water for quite a few generations. I grew up with a sizeable family and a lot of spiritual survival practices, including identifying plants and herbs for healing purposes, learning to read the land in front of me, and cleansing my heart in the current of the river when I am hurting. These were a part of my nature, and the tree bent by Native Americans, directing the flow of the water, was an asset to the land that felt like magical anytime I touched it. I was raised under the Christian faith and followed it for many many years, until I reached college. But, before I get fully into my religious transition, let me describe the woman I used to be.

As a young woman entering the world on her own for the very first time, I felt as though I had to prove my morals to the world. I felt a longing to prove to everyone why my approach to life was the best approach, and often fought with no thought to the other person in order to get my point across. I used to be fierce in my beliefs and would argue my corner until my lungs gave out. While this is admirable as a trait in defense, it is not admirable in a trait of happiness.

You see, I was learning that fighting for what I thought was right was more important than anything else, including myself. But if I am not fighting for myself, then who am I truly fighting for? The fight for “justice” took precedent over the fight for my own sanity. This was a reoccurring contemplation that passed through my mind effortlessly one day, creating an immediate explosion of, “What is Justice to me, for me?” Now, I am still no where near knowing exactly what Justice means to me. I don’t believe I will ever have a clear answer for that question, either, because it will be forever changing and growing as my understanding expands and grows. With that urge to fight my corner, I was also very extroverted with people in general. Being bullied as a kid, I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt, so I never held back from giving positive compliments or speaking my truth. This saved and hindered me all at once because while I loved human interaction and never met a stranger, I never truly picked up on negative gut feelings for people and gave so much of my energy to everyone that I had no energy for myself. Throughout that stage of my life, I was selfish and insecure all at the same time. My roommates were from India and China in college, and were smarter than me on paper because they had better educational opportunities than I did. I say this not because I’m jealous or envious, but because they pointed it out frequently. I could feel the insecurity of my own intelligence washing over me and their comments about me being overweight didn’t make me feel any better. These insecurities caused a heavy layer of selfishness, where I wanted to only worry about my own feelings & thoughts. While a fun period I am happy to have lived in my life, it was also a side of me that should have been put into check much earlier. 

At some point, I couldn’t go back to college due to finances and was thrusted back into my hometown in Florida. This sent me into an anxiety filled depression which rocketed me into fits of self hatred, lack of motivation, lack of confidence, and staring at the pill bottle sitting on my bed side table. Through this time, I was forcing myself to pray to God that everything would be okay, & that I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I prayed, and knew I didn’t believe the words I spoke.

Let me repeat that. I prayed, knew it wouldn’t work, and still I prayed. This feeling of disconnect from my beliefs and religion rocked everything I had imagined, and yet forced me to fix my problems myself. Because I didn’t believe some magic man in the sky would magically fix all of my issues, I started contemplating whether I was connected to any spirituality at all. 

Now, when I had moved back to my hometown, I started looking for friendship and found drama. I would go to karaoke at a bar with my older sister, singing is something I breathe for, and grew tired of the criticism given to people who enjoyed what they were doing, but never met the standards of professionals. My sister started talking shit about people, and I wasn’t for that energy or drama so I stopped going. I started hanging with my friend Raven, but she moved to Jacksonville shortly after I moved back. I then started hanging with a high school friend named Jordan, whom took me different places to interact with people every once in a while. Jordan knew an old high school friend, Logan, and invited me to smoke cannabis every once in a while on the weekends. While hanging out with Jordan and Logan, Logan and I started getting closer. While my mind felt as though it was packed full of passing negative thoughts and deterioration, Logan was teaching me my morals again. 

At this point, my faith had been falling apart, but I had not vocalized it until I told Logan. The moment I went over to his apartment and started expressing that I felt religion was beautiful and yet not for me, his eyes lit up and a spark flew. We talked for hours that night, and for hours the nights after. He taught me to be an individual and made me feel as though I was smart again, he made me feel worth it. We eventually got into a relationship together and started working together to build a heathy foundation of trust, understanding, communication & sustainability. He is my equal, and I started my spiritual journey with him by my side. 

Fast forward to the end of 2019, I’m in Gainesville (Florida) with my best friend, Tiana, for Christmas shopping. We had stopped in a few stores prior and decided that going into a spiritual store would be cool, so we sought out the Bodhi Tree. This shop was a sizeable metaphysical store that I had been in every so often when in town. Once we got there, I was immediately pulled to the back of the store where the divination tools & books were located. I had always found interest in magic and the elements, especially as a child, and caught myself eyeing the oracle cards in front of me. I could feel an energy pushing me towards a specific deck, but I couldn’t figure out which it was. So I stood for a moment, contemplating why I was attracted to that area with no interest in the decks presented to me. That’s when I noticed a blue box sticking out from behind a different deck. I picked it up & observed the lovely Angels & Ancestors Oracle box in front of me, and knew from that moment on that they were meant to be mine. 

As they called to me, I found myself taking them to the check out counter and purchasing them without a second thought. I had no preface of what to expect from this, nor did I know whether this was even something I would be capable of committing to. All I knew was that my body and mind owned them before I even paid for them. The Universe confirmed the connection was meant to be when we then went to a book store and discovered an array of tarot and oracle decks & books. I bought a purple velvet tarot bag, and everything started falling into place. 

After a month of playing with the cards, connecting with and enjoying their messages and images, I proceeded to buy my first ever tarot deck, The Herbcrafter’s Tarot. I fell in love with this deck, even though it was hard to read. It was my learning deck and I started recognizing what my spirituality meant to me. 

Over time, I remained Agnostic in terms of Religion, and focused on the energy I held & self expansion. I didn’t know what to believe, think or even how far or long I was going to venture this path. Eventually, though, I recognized why I put a besom over my door and felt protective of my home and its comfortability. I started seeking more spiritual energy in my home and was beginning my path to becoming a Hearth Witch. I got with my cousin and at the beginning of 2020, I started my spiritual awakening journey. 

It started when Logan didn’t have a job to go to. I was working as a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate and, after a few months of struggling financially, got a second job as a CBD Store Associate on the weekends. I worked harder than I ever have in my life and learned my own independence in the process. Spiritually, my vibes were low and I was experiencing anxiety, depression and PTSD from the re-traumatization of counseling Sexual Violence Survivors. I even went through a horrible time where for months on end I would wake up throwing up non stop. The doctors couldn’t figure out what it was and I lost 50 pounds from the malnutrition. I was at my lowest, and felt like focusing on myself was destroying me more than it was helping. I took shadow-work as self hatred and criticism, and forgot to put honey on my tongue before looking in the mirror. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why I was as sick mentally and physically as I was. 

Then, something happened. After a terrible event between my cousin and nieces, where my cousin told my nieces that chopped up dead children were in the walls of their brand new home, I recognized the importance of boundaries with everyone. Now, a lot more happened between my cousin and I prior to this, including her assuming my boyfriend was abusive because she received a reading that she felt was meant for me, but never was. So, after the drama settled, I ghosted.

I left everyone’s problems to themselves and started worrying about the things in my life I can change. This resulted in actual self reflection, self awareness & peace of mind. My tarot card readings became more clear and precise, and tarot decks started being given to me as gifts. Eventually, I noticed that my job as an Advocate was a huge problem in my life.

I experienced Sexual Violence in the past, and in my year as an Advocate, I had been paid $11 an hour to counsel up to 7-12 different Survivors in a week. I was asked to do everything, including my Supervisors job, and went above and beyond with little to no credit going towards my work. I didn’t even feel safe making a mistake or two, simply because I watched Advocates get fired for having a quiet personality or making mistakes and asking too many questions. The days leading up to my final day at that job, I was throwing up everything in my stomach every morning until 5 minutes before I had to leave, so I was late for work everyday. 

The day after my last day as an Advocate was my first time not throwing up in months. And I haven’t thrown up since I left. 

Logan started a new job that gave him ample finances, and I was making more in a week at my new job than I was as an Advocate. This is where my healing started. I started giving my mental more attention, speaking softer to myself, and appreciating the people around me. Logan even started showing me more affection, and being nicer to himself. 

Spiritually we were growing together. 

Ugh, I have so much I want to discuss and talk about with others!!!! There will definitely be more thoughts and entries as time goes on. Especially with the end of 2020.

So, this is where my journey begins. I am here because I like to talk, to speculate & even debate certain things and ideas. I love energy, and the energy people bring forward is always fascinating. So please, drop an ask, message me, or let me know your thoughts!

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 1, Episode 3. What’s New – The New Mutants

We had thoughts about The New Mutants, few of them good. There were some enjoyable moments, which we discuss, along with sharing our thoughts on what could have been better. 

Spoiler alert: we will be talking about the entire film.

Content warning: some of the content in the film can be triggering, please proceed with caution.

Listen to the episode on Anchor.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Ron:  Hello and welcome to Episode Three of Stereo Geeks. Today we'll be talking about what’s new in pop culture.

Mon: I’m Mon.

Ron: I'm Ron.

Mon: And this week we’re talking about The New Mutants.

Ron: This is a spoiler alert because we’ll be talking about the entire film, including the ending, so if you haven’t watched it yet, please watch the whole thing and then come back and listen to our podcast.

Please note, we will be discussing some triggering topics as contained within the film so, proceed with caution.

Ron: This film was initially intended for release in 2018, having been filmed in 2017, but it languished in production hell till 2020.

Mon: This year, it finally hit theaters, but because it was in the middle of the pandemic, most of us didn't go and watch it. Now that it's out on digital, we have some thoughts.

The film begins with Danielle Moonstar, played by Blu Hunt escaping the decimation of her village. She wakes up in a rehabilitation center, which is for mutants.

She is one of five students being supervised by Dr Cecilia Reyes, played by Alice Braga. The other students are Illyana Rasputin, played by Anya Taylor Joy; Rahne Sinclair by, played by Maisie Williams, Roberto Da Costa, played by Henry Zaga, and Sam Guthrie, played by Charlie Heaton. Let's talk about plot!

The film follows Dani as she gets to know these other mutants around her, tries to figure out what her power is, and tries to survive Dr Reyes’ experiments. Ron: There isn't much plot to speak of. It's very much a setup film, though there isn't any reason for us to believe that there's going to be a New Mutants 2. The majority of the film is spent with Danielle getting to know her fellow mutants and exploring their relationships. Though I would say that even there, the film doesn't really do a great job.

Mon: Yeah, there's a huge focus on the central relationship between Dani and Rahne. But the other characters, they're more antagonistic or just in the background. So it doesn't really develop her relation with them.

Ron: Yes, it comes across very much like the new girl being bullied, especially by Illyana though, that really doesn't do justice to the character as she appears in the comics. So, that was a bit of a surprise. Speaking of the backstories of these characters, we would say that really Rahne is the only one who has a similar backstory to the one that she has in the comics.

Mon: In the comics, Rahne comes from a small, very rigid, very religious community, and they freak out when she turns into a werewolf, because of her mutation. That backstory remains the same in the film, except now she’s been branded as a witch.

Ron: I didn't mind that particular inclusion. I think that made sense within the scope of the story. The other characters, there is no similarity between their stories in the film, and how we got to know them in the comic books.

Mon: Let's start with Dani herself. Why is there no mother in the picture? Ron: In the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, which this movie is based on, Dani loses both her parents, and that actually does play a very large part in the conclusion. But the film only focuses on her father in the very opening scene, which was not edited very well, and we see him later on as well. Mon: Let's talk about Roberto.

Ron: I have to say I was so, so disappointed in Roberto Da Costa in this film. Sunspot was my favorite new mutant and the character in the film doesn't resemble the comic book character at all. Especially not his backstory which plays such an important part in not only his mutant powers, but the way he engages with the world.

Mon: I think the first warning that they wouldn't be doing ‘Berto correctly was the casting of Henry Zaga.

Ron: I'm sure Zaga is a very good actor. I haven't seen him in anything else, but I'm sure he's very talented. Unfortunately, he doesn't look anything like Sunspot in the comics. There is one integral part of his character arc that is completely missing from this film because Zaga has been cast in it.

Let me explain. In the comics, Roberto Da Costa belongs to a very rich family. He doesn't really understand his privilege. But he is also very dark skinned. Because of this, despite his privilege, he is bullied. It is while being bullied by fellow classmates that his powers activate.

Mon: ‘Berto in the comics is Afro-Latino, but they refused to cast character an actor who reflected the same heritage in the film, and that really does him a great disservice. Because race is an important part of ‘Berto’s characterization in the comics, but it's completely forgotten and the backstory that Berto is given in the film is boring. It is staid and it is another example of fridging.

Ron: In the film, Sunspot’s powers activate when he is having a romantic moment with his girlfriend, thus killing her in the most awful way possible. So, not only do they erase an extremely important part of his characterization, but they fridge his girlfriend who is then used as horror movie-material later on. Mon: Let's move on to Sam Guthrie. So, Sam is kind of the pseudo-leader in the comics. He's conveniently the leader because, I feel like the writers, at the time, weren't sure who they could give it to so they gave it to the southern white guy.

In the comics, he's very happy, he's a very positive guy. He's had hardships in his life, but he never lets it bring him down. He struggles with his powers, he's a cannonball, quite literally, and it's a difficult power to master. The film touches on the fact that Sam still struggles with mastering his power, but he's given this broody, overly dark backstory, which doesn't do the character any justice. Sam's storyline in the film really should have come with some kind of warning. Because Sam is essentially self-harming throughout. He's in a cast constantly, he is seen punching himself. Basically, it's quite disturbing to watch what happens. And it comes without context, and we'll come to the fact that a lot of what happens in the film is without context.

What we learn is that Sam was working in the mines with his father and several other men, and his powers accidentally activated and he killed, not only the other men, but also his father, and he's obviously struggling with what happened. And, and he's taking it out on himself. He's not able to grow, learn, or attach himself to anybody. So, this was a huge departure, again, from the comics.

Ron: And then finally we come to Illyana, whose backstory is also extremely different from the comics. When we first meet her, she is a very small child, who ends up in limbo and spends her formative years in that hellhole. But when she's rescued which is a few seconds after her disappearance, she's a teenager.

None of that, obviously made it into this film, understandably, because the budgets would not have allowed for it, though we do get glimpses of limbo. However, Illyana’s backstory appears to be about her being trapped somewhere and being abused. What did you think about her backstory?

Mon: I didn't feel like it was necessary to have that kind of backstory. What I will say is that this is the subtlest way of suggesting any kind of assault or abuse on any kind of character. They really worked hard to be sensitive to the topic, but at the same time I have to ask, why did Illyana need that backstory in the first place? Why can’t she just come from a poor Russian home? Why couldn't it be like a Dostoyevsky story? She didn't need that kind of background.

And I also felt like there were maybe one too many hints about what happened to her. I understand the need to pare down Illyana’s rather complicated, fantastical comic book origins, but they went the other extreme by making it a little too realistic.

Ron: They tried to marry some of the realistic elements of childhood abuse that we see in real life with the fantastical elements of her childish imagination of what these monsters were. I think that worked for them. But to keep coming back and for us to keep seeing small Illyana in that room, there were one too many moments that would have been triggering for anybody who has been in that situation in their life. So, basically there are two instances in this film where they should have added content warnings, and they had three years to do that, but they didn't.

Mon: And that's not the only thing they didn't fix in the three years. The CGI is terrible! When you're talking about a comic book adaptation, especially with the New Mutants, who are more fantastical, and have more imaginative powers, that requires a lot of special effects. I was disappointed with what we saw. We didn't actually see their powers in action as much as we saw some of the horror elements, and I'm sorry but that is the worst CGI I've seen.

After people have been shouting about how hard they've been working to make this product the best that they can, it honestly feels like this movie was made and somebody forgot about what to do with it. And then they just kept playing hot potato with it. They didn't embellish it, nothing. It's not like they tried very hard to make it the best story possible.

Ron: And I think the other problem is that from the very first previews, people had strong reactions to Zaga, to Heaton. There were a lot of people who were upset that an Afro-Latino character had been replaced by somebody who was lighter skinned. This is colorism and 2020 may have put colorism in the spotlight, but, in 2017, this was definitely something that people knew about.

There were also a lot of concern about Heaton’s casting. He was hot off the success of Stranger Things; it made sense to cast him in a movie like this. But he doesn't fit Sam Guthrie at all! I was extremely disappointed in Zaga and Heaton in this film. Not only did they not look like the characters, they had so little to do. 

The burden of carrying this film really fell on Blu Hunt and Maisie Williams. They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

They did a good job. But there were also a lot of problematic elements around them. So, whatever they were doing was undone. For instance, Illyana is unnecessarily antagonistic towards Dani. She's also racist. She keeps calling her Pocahontas!

Mon: Yeah, I found that very disturbing and I didn't see any need for that.

Ron: Absolutely not. And 2017 was one year after Trump was elected. He made a lot of Pocahontas comments soon after coming into power. And a lot of people were very, very upset about that, and they were very vocal about that. Why would they put this into the film?

Mon: I think the whole ‘Pocahontas’ thing in the film is kind of reflective of how the director seems quite blinkered in his view? We have the Zaga issue. We have the racist comments against Dani Moonstar, as well. But there's a character missing in this film from the comics and she's integral!

Xi’an Coy Manh, who is the mutant Karma, is a Vietnamese immigrant who becomes the leader of the group. She is conspicuously missing from this film. Why is the Asian mutant, who was such an important part of the comics missing from the film?

Ron: I understand that for the majority of the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline, Xi’an was not there. But if you're making a film which introduces this particular group, you've got to have her.

Mon: I completely agree with you on that. It makes no sense. We were talking about how Heaton and Zaga really don't do much in film. I have to say, this is probably the first time I've seen a genre film where the two boys spend most of the time cleaning dishes and washing clothes, whereas the girls seem to be driving the story forward. It's hinted at that ‘Berto and Sam are becoming close friends, but you don't really see much of the relationship; it's just one montage where they're having a little bit of fun, but the three girls, there's a lot more to their relationship, especially between Blue Hunt’s Dani Moonstar and Maisie Williams’ Rahne Sinclair.

Ron: I was pleasantly surprised that from nowhere, we got this queer relationship. And it comes off the fact that Blu and Maisie obviously have a lot of chemistry. So, the film just went with it. From the very first time that Dani and Rahne see each other, there's this connection. And it just grows throughout the film, and they become a couple.

Mon: I couldn't believe it because, in the books, they're pretty much written as straight. Romance isn't a huge part of their storylines. But in this film, it's there from the very beginning. There's a scene soon after Danny wakes up, and she's struggling to cope with the death of her father, the death of her entire village, and Rahne really talks her down. It's really sweet, this interaction between two young people who are struggling to find themselves in a world that doesn't make sense. And it’s also a little bit funny.

Ron: In any other film, one of the characters would have been a man. But here, it's two girls. And it's one of the nicest moments in the entire film. Once again, a trigger warning is required. But it's a great moment. Because we have seen so many superhero films, and we're still waiting for those queer characters. And it didn't feel forced at all.

Mon: It definitely because, as you mentioned, the actors had so much chemistry between them. It's a friendly chemistry, and the story doesn't try too hard. It makes sure that they come together because they understand each other. Because Rahne is such a kindly character and Dani needs that at that point, she needs somebody who can just understand. And she also needs to know that other people are also suffering in some way, they have their own pain, so that she can open up herself.

Ron: I also liked was there were no salacious comments, no maliciousness towards that relationship.

Mon: They were no gratuitous scenes.

Ron: Exactly, especially when the characters are young, you know, it would have been very disturbing to watch that. We anyway had the whole thing with Illyana’s backstory. One of the things that we really get to see in genre cinema, that even if you have queer characters, if everybody around them is like, ‘oh, you're queer, or gay or trans’, that ruins the moment, because that is again singling out the marginalized character. We also need to talk about how them being a couple isn't the only driving force behind their characterizations. It is a part of what makes them grow and brings them closer. But it also plays a part in resolving some of the issues in the plot.

Mon: So, here's the problem. While this beautiful little love story is fleshed out throughout the film, everything else got left behind. There isn't really anything else. Even if this was supposed to be a character driven story, or a relationship building story, those are also left by the wayside. Because Illyana is antagonistic, when she comes to Dani aide, it's supposed to be seen as she's coming to help Dani out of a newfound-love for Dani, but it's not true. And I couldn't actually read it that way.

Mon: When I was watching the film, I couldn't understand why Illyana suddenly had this change of heart. She'd managed to fight the monsters from her childhood that had come to come to life. But why did that make her feel like she had to fight for Dani? It seemed more like all the other characters, barring Rahne, were fighting for survival. Ron: I agree. Even Sunspot. When he's in the church, it doesn't seem like he's trying to save Dani, or he's trying to help the others. He's just trying to protect himself. And Sam seems to have so little control over his powers that whatever he does do is always by accident.

What I also feel is that we've been skirting around the issue of the plot. And the problem is that there isn't much plot here. The structure of the story goes something like this. Dani meets her fellow mutants. They try to get to know each other. Mysterious things seem to be happening, and they all seem to be related to everybody's worst fears. As the film continues, we realized that those manifestations have a connection with Dani. And then we finally learn that Dani’s greatest fear is the demon bear.

Mon: The final arc of the film is the demon bear attacking the facility and Dani is incapacitated, which leaves the rest of the team to fight off the demon bear and protect her at the same time. This brings the team together, but it brings them together more for their own survival than for the protection of Dani or for any emotional connection that they have to her.

Ron: Also, the stakes in some ways aren't very high. We are used to seeing the very formulaic superhero ending on this huge battleground, so many faceless people in danger having to be protected. And this is much smaller. The new mutants are fighting their own inner demons. And that works in some ways, but it's also not earned. Mon: I think the lack of payoff in this film comes from the fact that there is no context to what we've seen. The context always comes after the fact. We see Sam self-harming but why? We don't find out until several scenes later. We see Illyana being haunted by these scary creatures. But who are they? Why do they look like that? We don't get an answer to that. Most of the other manifestations, they do become more realistic. Whereas with Illyana’s, for some reason, it remains these otherworldly creatures.

Ron: I kept thinking that at some point, especially in the third act, that the monsters would transform into people we would see that the people who were harming her were actually real men.

Mon: Either that, or it was all in limbo, and that’s why they looked like that. But we don't know because limbo is just hinted at during the last section of the film. We get glimpses of a lot of hellfire but not much else.

Ron: The only remaining aspect of limbo in the real world is Lockheed. For the longest time, he’s just a stuffed toy and then randomly in one scene, he turns into a real dragon.

Mon: As real as bad CGI can make it, anyway.

Ron: It’s sad honestly. We love Lockheed in the comics, but also Lockheed belongs to Kitty. So, why is Lockheed here with Illyana? I don't know.

Mon: I'd argue that that was an Easter egg that didn't belong.

Ron: Yes, and seeing Lockheed look like that was super disappointing. They had three years to get this film on our screens, they couldn't fix Lockheed? They didn't actually do anything once it was filmed once it was packaged, once that first preview came out. They just put it on a shelf and waited for it to be released in theaters.

Mon: Disappointing indeed. What are the other comic book elements that you spotted in the film?

Ron: Well, when we saw Dr Reyes’ screen, we could see Essex Corp. It took me a second before I realized that Essex Corp meant Nathaniel Essex, aka Mr. Sinister.

Mon: And throughout, Dr Reyes kept hinting at how her supervisor was in charge and we knew that she was basically following his orders. Since this mysterious character is such a fan-favourite and a huge part of the X-Men comics, we were expecting, at the end, perhaps a little glimpse of the man himself?

Ron: There have been X-Men stories where Nathaniel Essex has been part of the background and then right in the very last panel, there he is standing there in all his glory. We were kind of hoping for that to happen and we waited till the end of the credits. Nothing.

Mon: The film is connected to the main X-Men film universe. There are glimpses of where these young mutants are going to be taken, and these are scenes from Logan. The corporation from which Logan rescues X-23. They were obviously hoping for a larger universe which would include the new mutants, but it never came to fruition.

Ron: Which is again making me wonder, what was the point of this film? It doesn't really give us an hoped for New Mutants 2. In fact, once they have defeated the demon bear, and they've managed to get rid of Dr Reyes, they're leaving the facility, but they have no idea where they're going. As far as they know, there's nothing around them for miles. So, what is the point?

Mon: My biggest struggle with this film is that the new mutants do not lend themselves to a film or a film trilogy. The new mutants should be a TV series.

Ron: Especially since it has a large cast of characters. And if you had added the other characters, you would have had a good number of people to follow. That'll make for great television. I'm thinking about The Gifted, which was an X-Men spinoff. Unfortunately, it was canceled after two seasons but I enjoyed it. Not everybody else did, but I did. And that showed how an X-Men story in television form could work.

Mon: The thing with the X-Men universe is that it's an expansive universe and new characters are constantly being added to it. So, you can't reproduce that universe in just a few films. While the X-Men films, some of them have been very successful, but several of the characters were underserved. Cyclops is the leader in the comics; he got short shrift in the films. Jean Grey is a very powerful character in the comics, and she spends most of her time standing and waving her arms.

While the main X-Men series can still be carried by a handful of actors, with The New Mutants, they are a group, they're a band of youngsters who spend a lot of time getting to know each other and build their friendships together. The whole point of these characters is not just that they have to explore their powers, they also have to explore their own youth. They are young people that are growing up; they need to find out who they are as people. For these characters, the film being a one off, or even if it was supposed to be a trilogy, it doesn't work. The new mutants need to have episodic stories, which were the central theme of the comics.

Ron: It shouldn't be a horror story. I understand where they were going with that. Even within the comic books, the ‘Demon Bear’ storyline does lend itself to suspense but it's also very tragic. I think we need to move away from instilling fear in the viewer, and more about instilling some hope.

Mon: I also feel like the final product didn't quite live up to the anticipation of the original previews. The first trailer that we saw, it really made it look like the classic horror stories that we are so used to seeing. They're stuck in an asylum and scary creatures are coming at them. That's not what we got.

Ron: This was ‘Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Especially that Sunspot scene in the swimming pool, with him and Illyana, which never happens in the comics, and it came off as super gross.

Mon: I still can't figure out whether that was Illyana or that was his imagination.

Ron: That's what I'm saying! ;Jumpscares: The Mutant Movie’. Look, in a horror film, you can have your own kind of logic, but that logic needs to follow a certain pattern. That scene didn't follow any pattern. It seemed like just an excuse for Henry Zaga to take his clothes off, which is not necessary in this film at all. And to put him and Illyana together as a potential couple, which also didn't work because the two characters had no chemistry. And there was no reason for them to want to be together. Mon: Yes, it is just one of the many, many missteps. Surprisingly, I don't feel like this film was the worst film ever made. I would say that it was a poor choice of subject matter and poor execution.

Ron: It's not a bad film. It's just boring. It doesn't try to push any boundaries. The only area where they did something different was with the relationship between Dani and Rahne and but aside from that, the story is very limited in its scope. And for that reason, having just seen The New Mutants, we are struggling to remember parts of it. Mon: So, let us know, what did you think about the New Mutants?

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email stereogeekspodcast@gmail.com

Ron: We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Continuum by Audionautix plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai and Ron.

[dlkardenal]

Behind the Scalpel #2 - Dar’s journey with cover design

Hey there, traveler!

Today I’d like to share a personal story concerning both the woes of being a writer, my mentality on self-publishing, and our current project. This is the story of how I created the cover for our WIP.

To tackle a few things heads up, I’m not a complete amateur when it comes to graphic design, however, I am only scraping the surface. I’ve never received any education in graphic design but it became a kind of guilty pleasure for me as soon as I found the magic of MS Paint, so I’ve got some years of self-education, reading up on the topic and long hours of just d*cking around with graphic software behind my back.

Given that, I’d only recommend doing the cover yourself if you know what you are doing or you don’t have any other options – me personally falling in the latter category. We are trying to self publish with little to no funds, to begin with, and thus have to make some tough decisions. One of them is the fact that we can’t afford to hire a professional cover designer, so I either do it myself or not at all. Since giving up is not an option, I decided to do it or die trying. Here’s how I did it.

Basically, I created the first version of the cover before we finished the first draft (not the first English draft, the first draft in our native tongue.) All I knew that it’s shaping up to be a desert fantasy, so I need something with that feeling. So as every newbie would, I hit up google, typed „desert fantasy art” and clicked images. I found a nice looking art, added a black border, slapped a title onto it and this is what arose from that witches’ brew of a design:

So, there are a couple of problems with this. First, it is boring. You look at it, admire the art for a splinter of a second, and go on about your business. Second, which keeps coming back, is the genre. This one looks like a Jane Austen romance when it should scream epic adventure and magic and stuff. The third problem was the method I acquired the art because Google Images is rarely a place to browse for royalty-free stuff you’d use on a book cover. But I was content with this for a while, shoved it into a folder on my laptop, and kept writing the book.

Months pass by and we both started to lose enthusiasm and needed something to fire us up once more. I remembered the rush of excitement when I designed the first cover, so I got on my trusted laptop to do it all over again – this time trying to follow the law and use royalty-free images. But learning from the first cover, I wanted to do something exciting, something someone would click on out of curiosity, so I started browsing digital artworks on Pinterest. This is actually good advice for anyone looking for inspiration – but inspiration only. Don’t go wildly right click-saving things from there, or you run into the royalty thing again.

What I found were fractals. If you’re not familiar with the term, fractal arts are procedurally generated, mostly geometrical images which look trippy as fuck and if an artist gives their personal touch, they can look spectacular. To give a great example, I searched for royalty-free (see? I’m smart :3 ) fractal images and found this:

As you can see it is really eye-catching and I haven’t seen this style used as cover before, so I thought I can make something different. I got to work, added shaded borders, and a more fancy title and created cover v2.0.

Way to go! But there were still problems with this. We realized that one of our strong suits as writers is painting a vibrant world that’s easy to imagine yourself into. By using a lot of different senses in the descriptions one could almost feel the heat of the desert, the cooling sea breeze from the port, or the smell of roasting shashlik – but this cover didn’t give off this vibe. It felt cold, brittle (hence the silver) so it still needed a few changes. That was pretty easy to fix, I just tampered with the color temperature and voile! Cover design v2.1 was born:

Now, this was hinting at the right vibe, it looked almost like a quicksand swallowing the title which was all nice and good, but this was about the time we run into a bit of advice we then saw everywhere – research the market. Now, dear readers, what the fuck does that mean? It took me a while to figure out, but what people mean by that is to go on Amazon or Barnes&Noble or wherever you satiate your bibliophile thirst and look at other successful book covers in your genre. So I did, browsed Amazon best-selling fantasy books for hours, and noticed a few trends. First, most fantasy books didn’t use a fancy font, those were mostly for romance novels. The second is, pretty much every fantasy (by that I mean the myriad of Brandon Sanderson, George R.R. Martin and Anthony Ryan books) used some kind of image in the middle instead of just the title. Armed with this knowledge I jumped back on GIMP and got to work once again.

Now it was looking more like the big names, an epic but simplistic font, a thing in the middle (in our case a two-headed viper bracelet, a piece of important jewelry from the book) and even a quote. Now was the time for me to send it to my taste-testers: my younger sisters, both book nerds in their own genre.

And they told me they liked the previous font better. They found the snake and the quote a nice touch, but the font was too bland. Because at this point I had no idea who to trust with advice, I rushed to correct it and come up with a new, better version combining those two elements. So after a bit of designing again, cover v2.3 got birthed into this shining world.

Looking fancy, eh? This was the time I learned how to create a golden text effect without photoshop (yeah, I forgot to mention, photoshop would eat up, chew, and spit out the 4 GB ram in my 6 years old laptop, so I use GIMP instead). This was almost perfection… almost. We were content with this for a few weeks, right before we ran into several niche fantasy covers we quite liked that were more on the simplistic side, with a dark background, a fancy title and a beautiful border frame. We thought if it caught our eyes, it would catch other people’s attention too, so the designing bug bit me again and I opened GIMP for the umpteenth time.

The idea was simple: create a black background with the fractal as a border, an artistic title and maybe some extra touches. This was the point we regressed back into the black and silver style because black and gold was too mainstream. It was more difficult to get right, but eventually I came up with this:

This time I was sure I hit perfection. It reminded me somewhat to Game of Thrones, it had two viper heads and a simplistic style. Around this time we found our first somewhat useful beta-readers, so I was brave enough to show them. The answer was in line with our reoccurring theme of being unable to paint a clear genre image: they thought it looked like a contemporary girl novel with some spooky snakes for a bizarre cavalcade effect. I’m gonna admit it, it felt like shit but being an author is about constant growth and learning from bitching beta-readers, so I decided to do some more research. I found a couple of useful resources, to be precise, a blogpost from Neha Yazmin (link here: https://nehayazmin.blogspot.com/2020/05/Book-cover-design-tips.html ) and a youtube video by Just Angus (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SgJV8wGkcI). They’re both useful and entertaining, so go give them a look. We realized looking beautiful to us means nothing if people pick up the book and think about the wrong genre, thus they will be disappointed by the book by default. We had to make it look like an adventurous fantasy set in a magical desert, so I had to change my entire mindset.

I was browsing Pinterest one evening and found the magical looking Arabic calligraphy, precisely Take the Leap by Everitte Barbee. With a rush of enthusiasm, I grabbed the image and ran away with it, not thinking about some important things, and created this.

Now things were shaping up to be almost pitch-perfect. The font was fancy but fantasy-esque, the style was eye-catching but minimalistic, it screamed middle-eastern and it was unique. But remember the important things I shrugged off? One of them was the royalty-thing again. Turns out this image (or to be precise the ink and paper version of it) was already used in another book cover. Also, Arabic calligraphy uses words from the Quran. Now, I’m not a very religious person and I know next to nothing about Islamic religion. As much as I adore ancient Arabic aesthetics, I think it’s common courtesy to leave things you don’t understand a word of alone and not use them obliviously in commerce. But I believe I hit something on the head with this silhouette filled with fractal art, so I searched for some free stock images until I found what I was looking for. So, at the end of this surprisingly long wall of text about almost a year of redesigns and trial-and-error style approaches, I’ll leave you with our final cover (for now at least). I hope you found it entertaining and somewhat useful, if you have any questions or even critique, please, let me know in any way you prefer. Bah, it was nice to get this off my chest. Stay sharp, travelers!

Dar

 The current version of our cover:

[gheysnakeredacted]

Since you asked me, how 'bout Alex odd and Sergio even. >:3c

You monster… (jk ily)

Here is Alex:

And here is Sergio:

Information are under the cut so I don’t destroy anyone’s dash today

(also note that I had combined asks by accident so that is why it goes up to 45 not 50 whoops)

Alex

Sergio

1.)What is your OC’s favorite color?

Alex’s favorite color(s) are dark blues, light shades of yellow, and any shade of red 

2.) Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

Sergio has the tendency to collect a alot of furniture from different places so he can make The Space Station look more…homey in his opinion. Though you can also say he collects alot of PHDS from different universes as well. 

3.) What kind of things is your OC allergic to?What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

Alex is allergic to nothing and he usually wears his lab coat with a simple black shirt and some faded jeans usually. 

4.) What is your OC’s first memory?

Sergio’s first memory was waking up in the Space Station from a strange cryo-tube. Basically where he was born, since he was ‘born’ as an adult.

5.) What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

Alex’s favorite animal is bunnies and least favorite is tigers.

6.) What element would your OC be?

Sergio would be earth!

7.) What is your OC’s theme song? 

Mercy by Shawn Mendes

8.) Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC?

No not really :”) (though if you want I think he sounds like it would be a very deep with a hint of a russian accent for Sergio)

9.) What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

Alex would definitely be envy :”) 

10.) What are your OC’s hobbies?

Sergio really enjoys holding therapeutic sessions for his friends, because he knows how rough their jobs are. Basically he holds painting sessions and talking ones and just all sorts of other things. And, for recreations, Sergio likes dancing and writing stories on his free time. 

11.) How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

Alex is very mellow when it comes to patients, however if he gets over-excited he can be a little antsy at times. And he is definitely not a hot-head, for not only fearing the others reactions but also could never raise his voice at anyone unless in a dire emergency.

12.) What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

Sergio is a Bi-romantic/Bisexual male, and his looks indicate he’s Caucasian/Russian but he is my own made up species of Universalists

13.) What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

Alex has actually never tried any other foods outside the ‘protein bars’ or basic chunks of nutrients with no flavor in it at the space station. So that is both his favorite and his least favorite. 

14.) If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?What does your OC smell like? 

No pets allowed on the Station and Sergio smells like a clean hospital/ clean air (if that makes sense)

15.) How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want?

Alex lives in a Space Station in a remote pocket dimension and usually he sorts out the electrical machinery in the station along with keeping records of all Universalist Activity.

16.) What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

Sergio would definitely like to become a doctor for different universes. He wants to help out as many people as possible, but he does enjoy his current job as half doctor half person who helps out on dimensional missions. He thinks its important, though his heart still pulls at helping more. 

17.) What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

Alex’s greatest fear is drowning and complete darkness. I mean he lives in space but usually he is bathed in light from it, but as long as there is a little light I think he’ll be fine. 

As for strengths and weaknesses, Alex is very technical smart and really good with machinery and figuring out how to work them in battle, while his weakness comes from his anxiety and not being able to properly communicate with people other than other Universalists.

18.) What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

Sergio likes to listen to all sorts of music, but probably one of his favorite genres is classical, and he doesn’t really have a favorite. 

19.) If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

Probably freak out because Alex isn’t suppose to leave the station without his sister’s permission and would be just a nervous wreck without anyone to help him. And for what he would do try and figure a way out while also staying hidden from local authorities from being an ‘alien’ species. 

20.)What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

Sergio is very self conscious about his powers and how they don’t fit into what normal healing abilities look like. As in, people don’t want giant goopy shadow creatures touching them even though all they want to do is heal :( . And for pet peeves, Sergio doesn’t like it when people are just randomly rude to people and when people try and hide from him while trying to save their lives. 

21.) What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?The President of The Robotics Club/Giant Nerd basically for Alex. Gets good grades but doesn’t have many friends :”)

22.) What is a random fact about your OC? 

At first, when creating Sergio, his name was Jake, but I changed it once I figured I wanted a more Russian sounding name. His full name is Sergio Jake Stravinsky 

23.) What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

Alex has a pretty optimistic look on life. He thinks that there are better ways at solving things than violence, though he knows its necessary for certain things. Though, he usually looks at others as needing the positive in life while for him he doesn’t usually think for himself. At all.

24.) What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fan character? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I was inspired to make Sergio because…idk. I don’t really remember, but I know it wasn’t based onto a fandom that is for sure. And, his design is WAY different than it is now, since in the past he used to be a grumpy lizard hybrid of some kind and now he’s a chubby doctor who heals with shadows and is also an alien.

25.) Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

Alex’s most important person in his life is Syriana, his sister! She has helped him through many tough decisions and probably the sole reason why he is alive after his little…accident. And I don’t really have a least important person to him, because Alex only knows eight people (allegedly, since this is after his accident where he loses his memory and before he goes back into the missions)

26.) What kind of childhood did your character have?

Sergio never really had a childhood. He was born with the necessary tools to function as a regular ‘adult’ and had to go right into learning how to use his powers for healing and all that jazz. Very complicated, but it was stressful in the first years that Sergio lived that’s for sure.

27.) What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

Alex’s nervous habits are everywhere, in which his eyes start to flash different colors to try and analyze the situation. Also, his arms shake. Honestly I haven’t thought about what item or thing Alex should do for stim but I was possibly thinking touch, like touching something warm or something soft. No addictions whatsoever~

28.) If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

‘Well SOMEONE forgot that the healer was the most important part of the party.’ 

29.) Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

YESSSS. Alex is such a hopeless romantic, he loves the thought of finding a good husband and settling down and having someone to love him like that. And he would definitely look into kids because he has always wanted more family members and to take care of others!

30.) What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Sergio being impaled multiple times by an angry mob because they couldn’t understand that his shadows healed and weren’t demons from hell. Because it was so traumatizing, he still has scars across his stomach from the event and doesn’t like to talk about Universe Delta14A that much. 

Though, his favorite memory has to be being blessed by some religious monks and acknowledging him as a person who is to be trusted and can heal. 

31.) If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Alex would wish for his memories of the past to become clear and that ihs powers could return to its normal state (right now Alex’s powers are too unstable and defuse easily from stress)

32.) Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? 

If it was absolutely necessary for the mission, Sergio would reluctantly have to do it. And to push for someone for him to kill, it would definitely be threatening the lives of others with death.

33.) What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

No social groups, only space~

34.) How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Sergio doesn’t have the strongest imagination, mostly from worrying about the other Universalists health and just everything. He doesn’t have time to get pushed into the past when there is so much to think about in the present. 

35.) What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

Love!!! All Alex wants is to be in love and have someone else be in love with him, though it never turns out that way. He would sacrifice everything he has to himself to have someone love him, which also means devoting to that person that he currently loves, which isn’t very healthy.

And as for something other people don’t usually do, Alex can create machines using his technopathic abilities. :”)

36.) What would your character do with a million dollars? 

Donate it all to different charities somewhere, since Sergio has no use for money of anything since he has all he needs on the Station. 

37.)What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

Alex keeps a tiny refrigerator underneath his work desk located in his laboratory. Its usually stocked with waters and those gross nutrient bars. 

38.) Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

If Sergio would want to go anywhere, he would probably go to a quiet restaurant with at least decent food. Doesn’t matter what kind but good enough for his taste (he’s not picky). He would dress down with a clean dress shirt and a nice pair of grey pants, but not as formal as his usual outfits. And if he could, Sergio would take Drake, his best friend, so they could chat and argue the night away.

39.) What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

Alex usually expresses his anger through yelling and angry tears. Since he usually gets angry at people not understanding what he’s saying or belittling him, he would try and keep it in but when it bursts, its ugly. He doesn’t throw punches, its just him crying and screaming what he feels. Which is just a bunch of stuff of how he doesn’t understand it just ends with him being frustrated and embarrassed.

40.) Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?How does your character react/ accept criticism?

Sergio has tiny, almost invisible scars lining his belly, from being impaled as said earlier. Probably the most offensive thing Sergio has ever said was…nothing. Or if it was it was probably by accident. 

And how Sergio processes criticism? He usually is very open-minded and takes in great consideration before he figures out what is best.

41.) If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

Alex would just be like…ok? I mean it would be the first thing Alex would eat with actual flavor in it so it would turn out to be Alex’s favorite thing to eat until he has something different? If that makes sense :”) (I love pineapple pizza how dare you)

42.) Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

Sergio would probably toy around with it, but wouldn’t think of doing something dangerous to the doll. He has seen his friend’s work with such magic and he is not toying with that fact. After looking over it, Sergio would put it away somewhere safe.

43.) Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

The only thing Alex draws is little doodles, like squares and swirls, next to blueprints he makes for machines. So, he enjoys drawing those, however he hasn’t had much practice with actual art so he isn’t the best at it.

Had no parents, was born from a machine and it kind of messed Alex’s perspective of what an ‘adult’ really is if he was born into one.

44.) Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

Sergio loves a good sweet or two! Though, he has never actually gotten a sugar rush, but if he did get a rush, would probably want to dance a little ;3c

45.) If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? 

Alex would just accept it, with no hesitation whatsoever. If he has to die, why go against it? He would try and get everything organized before he dies so the other Universalists don’t think he left anything unattended an have them not worry. He wants to make this as easy as possible after all…